REV-UP: Behold, I make all things new. (Rev. 21:5)

REV-UP:
Behold, I make all things new.
(Rev. 21:5)

I guess every metrocon I will be able to write something in my blog. haha.

It's a totally different experience for me this year than what I had last year.

First stop: My heart is in a very different state...Unlike last year, it was so hungry for God. It was yearning for healing...for mercy....It was empty. God had so much space to fill in. For the past 12 months, God has been blessing me with people, experiences, and spiritual blessings as well. God has set the fire in my heart. I was set for the battle. I was set for the service He has called me in. I was ready to go anywhere God leads me...to the ends ofthe earth. I was so happy I knew I could finish the race.

When I was just starting, my broken heart was healed...somebody came into my life and changed everything. I knew that love was right..that person was right. He was...But now I'm not sure. I thought he was going to help me in the battle...I pulled him up...but I did not notice, he accidentally pulled me down. I fell...but he couldn't carry me. We both fell...and almost everything else fell apart. Then I knew things are not going in the right direction. So we had to stop...It has to end. Luckily somebody else was there to catch me...but going for it wouldn't also make things right. So I chose to have nothing instead...It hurt too much but knowing that I'm not hiding anything from anybody made the aching feel good somehow. It felt good because in that battle, it was only God and me. But as human, I can feel so much pain and I prayed really hard--everyday, every hour, every minute, every moment. I prayed for the hurting to end. One day, Mr. Right came back and I had moved on from Mr. Catcher. It was an answered prayer. Or, was it? Then I knew...in the race, in the battle, burdened with so many responsibilities in school, in my extra-curricular activities, in my practicum, in my service, in my love life...Everything was pouring really hard...I got knocked off...

I reached zero visibility: just when I thought that my love life had found the right way, I realized I was grasping for air. The air that I need to breathe...the air that GOD is. Mr. Right's face was always in sight...but I couldn't find God's. I found myself walking backwards. Kuya EY was right...I was in the right track...it's just that I'm not moving forward. Then it was clear that things are no longer right.

I was off-track once more.

So I needed a pit stop to be able to change my tires and travel that glory road again.

During this metrocon I felt empty afterwards...I knew there are too many things and too many people flooding my heart, but I felt so empty...I had filled my heart with so much of these things not realizing that I had pushed God away from this crowded room. I was part of the a capella, the praise parade, and the production this year. It was a dream come true for me to be peforming in front of many people in an event for God...but the sad part is that I didn't get the nourishment I needed. In the middle of the sessions I was called to go here and there for practices...practices which was not what I came for. I didn't feel reved up on my way home.

God knew the state of my heart...how much I am yearning to find my way back but my fuel reached empty. And as a Father, he did not abandon me. Before I slept, He came with a fuel...He blessed me with Joe--finally I've met a brother mature enough to really care for his sisters in YFC CB1. He gave me the car key--James, whose heart was on fire--who, I believe, would help us reach the dreams for our chapter. Now we can start the engine and start rebuilding Kalawaan. AndKuya EY, is the wiper of my windshield. When I shared my present burdens with him, he knew exactly where I was. Though my stories were not that detailed, he knew that there's something wrong and that I had to drift away from that state. I had plans of doing what I know is right...to choose to be pure. Whenever I am hiding something from anybody, that makes any relationship automatically wrong. I was reminded to be more watchful...and careful...because the father of all lies and deception is just around. He makes everything wrong feel and seem totally right. I was heading for his trap but God pulled me out off that track. I am just so thankful that somebody agreed with me that indeed, I was deceived. Once again I am assured that there's nothing to lose if I keep right. Once again my vision is clear.

It's going to be a difficult ride to get to my destination knowing that there's no Mr. Catcher this time and that Mr. Right thinks that my choice of doing what is right meant that I am falling for somebody else. But then again, my vision is clear and I know that GOD's WAY is the BEST WAY.

Now I am REVed-UP to travel this road once more.

I want change.

I was off-track for a long time, but now I'm back. This time, thre's no turning back. I'm in to moving forward. And that change will happen soon.

I've changed tires.

My vision is clearer.

I'm back in this Glory Road.

I'm REVed-UP to experience that change.

This is the beginning of the ride of my life!

God's Gift to Me

Last December 26, 2005, first time ko sumama sa lakad ng B1. Ang saya!!! Imagine, 25 ba or 26 people nakapag-mall ng ganun?? It was a different experience for me kasi hindi naging hindrance yung dami namin para makapagsama-sama kami the whole time. It was expected kasi na with a group that big, most likely magkakaroon ng smaller groups, may maa-out of place or worse, may maba-badtrip...pero sa B1 ndi pwede 'yun. hehe.. ang galing lang kasi na-feel ko talaga 'yung bond na-nagho-hold sa-min together. Bago pa talaga ako sa "family" [oo dama ko! haha!] pero I can feel the warmth of love and belongingness that is present within us.

Honestly, nung nagkayayaan medyo hesitant pa ako kasi nga nagtitipid ako, so un decision ko I based it on Dustin's...e nung nakita ko s'yang na-excite with the idea, na-excite din ako. ;p Grabe! The whole stay at megamall was really worthwhile. Wala talagang nasayang na oras kasi kahit sa haba ng mga pila na naghihintay kami, nagagamit pa rin 'yung time para maka-bond at makakulitan 'yung iba na 'ndi ko usually nakakasama...and I really found alot of good, funny, sweet, and thoughtful people in the group. Ayun..tapos nung nag-bowling and ice skating kami, andaming first time pero halos lahat naman natuto din...and we really had fun! Waaahhh!!! Wala lang, ang saya talaga nung day na 'yun! At Naubos talaga 'yung pera ko!! Haha..nagtitipid kasi ako e.. ;p pero ewan ko ba, ni 'ndi man lang ako nanghinayang.. =) 'ndi ko kasi talaga na-feel na nagaksaya lang ako ng pera e. And the best thing about the "lakad" [di ako sosyal, ok? ;p] was the fun that we had, as I've mentioned earlier, and that fun was clean fun! No bad words said, no green jokes na jinoke [what!!?? ;p]...at walang ibang taong pinagtripan just for the sake of having fun. Ang galing 'di ba? Mas minahal ko tuloy ang B1.. uuy.. m*s*y..wahaha!!

Eto pa, pahabol...during the Christmas and the New Year, lalo talaga ako na-amaze sa B1 kasi alam naman ng lahat [lalo na ng mga sunsters..hehe, ;p] kung ga'no ka-thankful ang bawat isa that God made us meet each other to affect each other's lives--that is to inspire and to guide one another. Ndi lang kasi isang tao ang nag-send ng greetings with messages na ganun 'yung nafi-feel n'ya eh...andame talaga! eh..wala lang...I'm so touched. And I feel likewise! :) I feel so blessed! :) And that blessing, I really can't contain...kaya excited na ako i-share 'tong happiness na nararamdaman ko sa iba. :)

Malapit na 'yung camp namin ng Buting/Sn. Joaquin kaya mag-iinvite nako ng maraming participants para mai-share ko na sa kanila 'tong blessing na ipinagkaloob sa'kin ni God! =)

"So blessed, I can't contain it
So much I got to give it away..."

(",)

Feels Like Home To Me

Happy New Year!!! (",)

The year 2005 was a blast for me. It was e year of searching and finding God. I've learned alot of lessons--I've learned to value time, studies, committments, people, and most especially my service (in KFC and YFC in particular). First of all, I would like to thank ate Shirley for inviting me last January to join the Central B Chorale (so, pangalanan ko daw ba ang choir??) for the a capella competition. We were serving the kids at SHAP when we met and she invited me. Going back to the competition, because of that experience, I felt the spiritual need of serving so I served Kids For Christ whenever I am free. Because of my involvement, I've met old YFC friends who invited me to be active again in YFC. I was hesitant at first but I really felt that God was calling me to this so I tried to attend the gatherings. The rest was already written in my previous entry so just try to read to saistfy your curiosity. (yeah right!! haha) I just wanted to say that I've met alot of people who are really good, funny, sensible, responsible, dedicated to their service in YFC, and who are really in love with GOD and are followers of Christ. I've met new friends here who I'm gonna treasure for the rest of my life. I belong to Central B1 and I'm proud to say that the people here are all blessings to my life. In Central B1, I found Jesus Christ. This is where my heart is. Central B1 is my home.

Need I say more??

MAHAL KO ANG CENTRAL B1!!!

andito kasi and mahal ko e...

...si KRISTO.

i BELIEVE

Where God leads, He provides. :)

It all started last October 16, 2005 at Eusebio High School, during the Central B Sector Conference. It was my first time to attend such gathering in YFC since I became a member 8 years ago. [ehem!]. I wasn't supposed to attend that gathering because:

1) I don't feel like going,
2) what am I gonna do there, I'm not a youth anymore...[I used to believe it that way]
3) I'm a voice major student and I'm gonna sing "alternative" songs for the band??

but Dustin, my younger brother told me to sing for them because barbie's cradle was [for a fact] my forte. I really did'nt have the energy anymore to do such thing because I'm going to take my voice exam the monday of that week. It's just that I can't let my brother down so I joined them. We practiced for one day.

Then the day came. We went there and watched the events and competitions. It was fun to see the youth enjoy playing volleyball under the heat of the sun. Some wore proper clothes, and some just jeans and flat shoes...pretty proper huh? But what was really good about it was they were not hot with their contenders...they were just enjoying. They screamed when they won a point and when they lost, they still scream as if they won. There was no feeling of being cheated and anything of that sort. In the basketball event, it was more physical of course; but though they bump to each other or accidentally hit or push another, I felt the strong sense of being a family in that court. Nobody said bad things to and about the other, or called for a fight. Winners or losers, they all enjoyed the game.

After losing alot of energy during the sports events it's already time for the band competition. Whew! I was really tensed because it was my first time to sing in front of that crowd...unlike my bandmates who are really active and are most likely comfortable in performing in front of Central B. But we, I per se, let God do the thing for us. And we did our best to give Him back the glory. He guided our spills and I'm pretty happy about it. Though tensed and scared, we knew we played pretty good.

After the competitions, Kuya Ej gave a talk that was really very touching. Most of us really cried. Tears flooded the venue...tears of joy and liberation. That time, I felt that God was really speaking to me. When he asked us to let go of every burden we had ang go to our leaders, only one thing came into my mind: God used Sol and Joy to call me to serve Him through YFC and Torch. Most of us were really crying for whatever reasons we have. But for me, it was tears of joy because i finally let go of the burden I've been carrying: I can't commit myself to serve God's people because i'm too busy. But then again, God told me, "Anak, wala kang dapat alalahanin, Ako ang bahala sa iyo." So I stood up and went to my heads, Sol and Joy, and assured them of my commitment to my service and participation in YFC. I also went to my Kuya and assured him of my commitment to serve the Kids For Christ School Based. [Actually, on my way to Sol, Kuya thought I was going to Him...though a little awkward, that was really touching...I was crying really hard and my Kuya walked towards me to give me a hug.] When I finally told them, "All out na'ko dito!" I felt like I was flying...tears ran continuously...and there was Liberty. Liberty from my doubts and hesitations.

After the talks ang sharing, the winners were announced. And we won! We will be representing Central B at the Metro Manila Conference! It was my first time to join a band competition and the feeling of victory ran all over me and I can't explain how happy I really was that time.

My brothers went home talking about the experience, how fun the event was, and we just can't get over it.

Right then and there, I knew that I belong to YFC, and I Believe that I was called to serve HERE.

But that was just the beginning of the start...